KAAI YUKI (歌愛ユキ) IS PROBABLY FUCKING DEAD

 We know Kaai Yuki is 34.4 lbs, because an apple is appx. 0.4lbs and she is said to weight "86 big apples."
That was calculated with this formula
    0.4 lbs per apple * 86 apples = 34.4
We also know her height is "10 big apples."
Apples are around 5 inches, so we multiply by 10, then divide by 12 to convert to feet, she is 4'2".
  (5 inches * 10 apples) / 12 inches in a foot ~= 4.2

COMPARING HER TO DATA

 According to some data I found online,

CALCULATING YUKI'S BMI

 We can calculate Yuki's BMI from her height and weight. Yuki's height in meters is 1.27.
Yuki's BMI calculations
  BMI = kg / m2
      = 15.6 / (1.27)2 = 9.67201934404
You read that right.
Yuki's BMI is 9.6.
Some of you might have no idea how insane that is.
The WHO, according to This chart (PDF)

Yuki would land right about on (9.9, 10)
That's right below the "SEVERE THINNESS" line.

What about other VOCALOIDs?

 Everybody's done that math before, let's talk about other VOCALOIDs.
We're gonna put this into a table.

HATSUNE MIKU (初音ミク)
You know her, you love her, yeah. She's only 158 cm. Miku is 42kg
Her BMI is 16.8242268867


Compared to Yuki that's... better.
Miku's "normal" according to the chart (almost thin). Her height and weight are much better than Yuki's though...
Just for fun, Miku would be...
    apples (height) = Height (in) / Size of apple (in)
                    = 62.2047 in / 5
                    = 12.44094 apples tall
  
    apples (weight) = Weight (lbs) / Weight of apple (lbs)
                    = 92.5942 lbs / 0.4 lbs
                    = 231.4855 apples weight
On the chart, that lands her "thinness." So she's underweight.
She's gotta start eating more, but she's not dying in a hospital bed like Yuki would be.

KAGAMINE LEN (鏡音レン)

 So, Kagamine Len. Just gonna show you the math and talk about him.
He's 47kg and 156cm. Here's the math
BMI calculation
    BMI = 47 / 1.562 = 19.3129520053
  



  
  
Comparison to apples

  
    apples (height) = Height (in) / Size of apple (in)
                    = 61.41732 in / 5
                    = 12.283464 apples tall
  

  
    apples (weight) = Weight (lbs) / Weight of apple (lbs)
                    = 103.617 / 0.4 lbs
                    = 259.0425 apples weight
  



He's probably the ONLY ONE on this list who's GENUINELY GOT A NORMAL BMI.
His BMI (19.31...) lands slightly under "Normal" on the chart. She's slightly underweight


KASANE TETO (重音テト)

I've saved the most interesting for last!


BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING.


I know Teto isn't a VOCALOID.

I know I said "VOCALOIDs."

But she's featured enough in VOCALOID songs that it would be a hate crime to not feature her.





Teto is an interesting case because she's a chimera, not a human.

She's "part human, part bat, part loaf of bread."





First, human, let's calculate her BMI as normal


  human_BMI = 47 / 1.5952
            = 18.474661216






For bats, bats don't really have a BMI. I suppose we can take a species of bat,

such as the common "little brown bat."

We can use its dimensions to calculate its "BMI."

The little brown bat weighs in at 0.0085kg (8.5g) and has a body lenth of around 8.5cm.


  bat_BMI = 0.0085 (kg) / 0.085 (meters)2
          = 1.17647058824






Now, because Teto is a chimera, a blend of diffrent species.

She is a blend between human, bat and bread.

We're going to figure out the bread real-quick. +


  bread_bmi  = teto_mass / length_of_bread (meters)2/3
             = 47 / 0.127m2/3
             = 186.021029669



I've decided to use 2/3 instead of 2 here because that better reflects the dimensions of bread.




Let's assume Teto is a blend between 33% human mass, 33% bat mass and 33% bread mass

Then we can do the math as a weighted average of all of them!


  BMI = (human_BMI * 0.33) + (bat_BMI * 0.33) + (bread_bmi * 0.33)
      = (18.474661216 * 0.33) + (1.17647058824 * 0.33) + (186.021029669 * 0.33)
      = 67.8718132862



Teto... you may need to lay off the bagettes.




Teto is 31 in chimera years, we're gonna use this as our refrence point.

If we go with
The WHO's table for adults

She would be... Class 3 Obesitey (SEVERE OBESITEY).




Obviously, the table isn't for chimeras, duh. But, still, Teto...

Might wanna lay off the bread and go on a diet...

Your BMI is 2 times higher than "SEVERE OBESITEY"






  
  
Comparison to apples

  
    apples (height) = Height (in) / Size of apple (in)
                    = 62.5984 in / 5
                    = 12.51968 apples tall
  

  
    apples (weight) = Weight (lbs) / Weight of apple (lbs)
                    = 103.617 / 0.4 lbs
                    = 259.0425 apples weight
  





CONCLUSION

Most VOCALOIDs are dead from being over- or underweight.
The following is a table of every vocaloid we've studied today.


  

    Subject's full Name
    Weight (kg)
    Height (m)
    Weight (apples)
    Height (apples)
    BMI
    Fitness
    Notes...
  

  

    Kaai Yuki
    15.60358
    1.27
    86
    10
    9.67201934404
    Severe Thinness
    Probably dying in a hospital bed
  

  

    Hatsune Miku
    42
    1.58
    231.4855
    12.44094
    16.8242268867
    Thinness
    
  

  

    Kagamine Len
    47
    1.56
    259.0425
    12.283464
    19.3129520053
    Normal
    Slightly underweight
  

  

    Kasane Teto
    47
    1.595
    259.0425
    12.51968
    67.8718132862
    Severely obese (class 3)
    Interestingly same weight as Len